When you live with the eyes of others constantly upon you, life becomes a narrow path.
You step carefully because you are afraid of stepping “wrong” in someone else’s view. A kind word lifts you high; a harsh word throws you down.
We indeed live in a time when every action can be measured, compared, liked or disliked.
Our phone constantly invites us to seek approval from others, to measure our worth by numbers: likes, comments, shares, followers…
But this suffering is not new. It is as old as the human heart itself.
The Mirror of Comparison
Comparison is like looking in a funhouse mirror: it distorts everything.
In a curved mirror, we might appear impossibly tall and thin, or short and wide, or stretched beyond recognition.
What we see has little to do with our actual form, yet we often believe the distortion is real.
When we constantly measure ourselves against others, we create the same effect in our minds. We see someone’s perfectly curated social media posts and forget that we're comparing our inner struggles to her highlight reel.
We watch a colleague receive praise and immediately diminish our own contributions, not knowing the full story of their journey or struggles.
Trust yourself
To step out of this cycle, you must first trust what your own eyes have seen, what your own hands have touched.
If mindful breathing brings you peace, not even a thousand voices denying it can take that truth away. If kindness feels true in your heart, you do not need anyone’s permission to practice it.
When you stop performing for approval, something beautiful happens: you give others permission to be authentic too. Your acceptance of yourself becomes a gift to everyone around you.
Did you know that Vincent van Gogh sold only one painting during his lifetime ?
Critics mocked his style, the public ignored him, and even his own family doubted his talent. Yet he continued to paint according to his own vision, writing to his brother, “I paint as a bird sings.”
He did not seek the approval of the art world of his time. He simply expressed what he saw and felt, trusting the truth of his own perception.
The Tao Te Ching teaches us:
"He who knows how to be content is rich enough. He who does not depart from his nature subsists long."
You are not a shadow of something you cannot attain. You are not second best. You are a unique expression of life itself, carrying gifts that only you can bring to the world.
The very fact that you seek approval reveals something beautiful: you know, deep down, that you are worthy of love.
The path forward is not to stop caring about others, but to stop needing their approval to feel whole.
With Gratitude,
Thank you
For your warm welcome to my work on the Tao Te Ching. I have to admit that I didn't expect such overwhelming support, which really makes me feel humble.
Very soon, I will be releasing a podcast series dedicated to reading the Tao Te Ching, offering a space to meditate on and practice its wisdom in daily life. It will be available on Spotify and YouTube.
In the meantime, you can order it on Amazon: Amazon US / Amazon CAN / Amazon UK
Or download the digital edition (for free!) here : Free Digital Download
“Your acceptance of yourself becomes a gift to everyone around you.”
I always tell my recovering addict patients that WHATEVER ANYONE THINKS OF JIM IS NONE OF JIM’S BUSINESS. It’s a little tough to practice but the peace of it is divine.